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Wednesday, October 17, 2007

1:00AM

my livejournal has turned really emo lately heh

right at this ssecond i am physically trying to hold back my tears
im so far gone that lost doesnt even come close describing how i feel
i feel like i have wasted the past year
but i laugh ive wasted the last 7 years of my life
and i feel like im going to waste the next
it feels like it doesnt matter how much i try i just cant get out
i want ...... i want something to have that i can be proud of
just one thing,that despite how much other crap is going on ill have that one thing that will put a smile on my face
one thing that despite how much other crap is going on i know i have something to live for.something that means something.something that in 7 years i can say the last 7 years wasnt a waste.



i miss you

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

10:15AM

hello old friend, im a mess ... thats really all i can offer you at the moment ... im sorry

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

6:22PM

hmm ... im just letting everybody down left right and centre .. i let my parents down .. let kim down .. but mostly, ive let marz down and for that i just cant forgive myself.ive had so much fun living with that girl for that past year.she has done so much and ive made her feel so ... alone in all this ... i mean ive been trying so hard myself to get money - which is has been confermed, just waiting for it to get into my bank .. but its nothing compared to what shes beent through, i owe her so much :(

im sorry girl

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

7:32PM

so yeh, i need to escape...and what better place to escape and just spew everything out of your head,then livejournal ... what a creation ...

i just to be happy people . not to say that i have things bad . im not complaining . but im really just sad . i guess knowing people just dont like you does that to you . i want to say that i have one really close friend that i can just go visit whenever i want to vent to . hence why livejournal is a great invention .

on the plus side i just saw a picture of the new joker ... OMG i nearlly wet my pants it was great heh ...

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

12:39PM

well ... well ... well ... look who is the stupid one then ... fuck

Sunday, February 4, 2007

11:39PM

i seem to be happy, to be ok .. i think i am ... why shouldnt i ... i have everythng i want dont i ... whats missing ... thats what i need to find ... do i though ... why waste my time looking for something when i dont even know if it is missing ... the search for something that you think is depressing you - which turns out it wasnt - makes you depressed because you cant find it ... its not a cycle its just a series circles, a new one made everytime you think you have the answer but just end up creating something new ... is this our quest ... our destiny ... that we must seek out every small imperfection and fix it ... why cant we leave it be .. y make it worse ... i guess that is the human condition, something is not right therefore there must be an answer ... i think i have finally become as full a nihilist that i can be ... and its not the belief of nothing ... i think its the belief that can answered ... there might be answers but we will never be able to obtain them ... is there a god ... is the a big bang ... its just religion ... christianity, hindu, science , all religions .. all theories of things that just cannot be answered ... the inclusion of science confuses people, its not a religion it is agued ... its not??? think about.there is nothing different between the two. i am more sceptical over science than anything other religion ... why??? because we just accpet it .. we believe it without thinking.the belief that science is not a religion but a all knowing truth, that we will gobble down whatever crap it puts forward...science is filled with as lies and myths and deciept than the bible .. if not more ... i want to write more but my mind hs blocked itself ...

end

Friday, February 2, 2007

12:58PM - NOT FOR WORK

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/330027

Sunday, December 10, 2006

11:20AM

i want to be happy

end

Thursday, November 9, 2006

6:47PM

so im sitting up here at the netcafe - will be getting broadband really soon ... been doing more photos so ill finally get to update my site ... there is a crazy hairy person sitting next to me, freaking me out ... she just wont stop looking at me with desire in her eyes ... as much i drag my chair away from her she just moves closer ... soon enough she will be sitting on my lap, whoops there she is .... HAHAHAHHH damn ....

my head is being torn in about 4 pieces at the moment and i want to shut it all down and get on ... its hard ...

yey jackass two very soon ... im waiting and waiting but marie just wont get off her damn ass heh im going to whacked across the head i think

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

12:09PM

i feel so stupid and pathetic ... why does my paranoia always pop up when i have something really good, in this case something so fantastic ...meh

Saturday, October 14, 2006

8:42AM

well this is my last day on my holiday in melbourne.im feeling quite exhausted, went to the zoo today.twas very cool, lions and tigers and bears oh my .... oh and baboon penis's .... yep .... though they werenot showing the tapirs so i was rather dissapointed :( ... ah well ... getting home about 10:30 tomorrow morning...then back to my normal week ... cant wait to see a certain person ... been missing them so much ... well must be off.ciao

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

2:14AM

hey peeps.not much happening at the moment.just at the airport at the moment,bout to leave to melbourne very soon.i miss my immy*blows kisses*well ill prob update while im downthere.wont be doing much.cept go to the zoo to take a photo of a lion yawning and a monkey picking its bum - any other requests will be considered heh - anyhoo i should be finding my gate.... oh there it is, that was easy ... ill see yous when i get back.ciao

Thursday, September 7, 2006

7:53PM

ok ill try and update here ...
still working - not really updating there - though working for like two people so im over exhausted -
still living with marie, and still likeing it there, she's really nice :) *poke* oi come up to the pig to have a drink ....
ummmmm.... still no computer .... dang
steve irwin died :( that really saddened me, i really admired him and he inspired me lots
mmm pretty girl :) - i didnt end up falling asleep on the train .... still tired

blah i got nothing

Thursday, August 31, 2006

8:03PM

he's back .... booyakasha

Friday, March 17, 2006

10:25AM

HOLY GUYS ..... yous all have to see clutch at overcranked, yous will not be dissapointed.at sydney airport, bout to head to melbourne. im going to be a huge update when i get back.see yous all on saturday

Thursday, February 16, 2006

6:20PM

funniest thing i have seen in ages

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfODSPIYwpQ

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

12:47AM

ive put up a shit load of photos up on my site. check them out :D

www.geocities.com/ryckii

Tuesday, February 7, 2006

11:38PM - work party of doom

ok, a run down of my last couple of days ...
-cassi drops me off at work sunday at 6
-have a couple of drinks - seems like others have been there for quite a while longer judging by the empties - oh drinks were free (or were they ???)
-at 6:15 we wait for bus to pick us and take us to the brisbane sailing club in bulimba
-6:30 bus still isnt there
-we decide to call taxis for 40 people(work pays for it)
-decide to do back inside to get more drinks to wait for taxis
-7:00 taxis arrive, driver lets us drink in the back
-7:30 we all arrive $80 trip
-all drinks are free - so i spend the next 4 hours drinking shitloads of jim beams and crown lagers (at times even having two in my hands)
-4 hours later (after meeting people at the other hotels and stores that the company owns, more drinking and eating and i think being hit on by the assistant manager*shes hot so its ok*)11:30 we have to leave
-we take with us 4 cartoons of jimmy and crownies and we decide to go back to emmats (apprentice chef)to keep on partying
-taxi ride a bit of a blur, cant remember much, rmemeber looking over and seeing kel - head chef - sitting there with no shirt on, cnt remmeber when that happened, no body could, not even him
-arrive at emmats - back in ipswich
- keep drinking again rest is a blur, all i can rmember is stealing all the nachos and drinking right to 4 am, at which stage ive taken control of bed and decide to passout as i have to work that morning
-get woken up at 6:30 because of the sun was shining on me
-lost my phone, but then refound it underneathe the bed, under a spare matrass
-tried to sleep more but couldnt,had a shower, 7:30 call a taxi, finally get to work at 8 - still in my clothes from the party cause i hadnt been home
-at 8 - half an hour early - decide to have another shower, stand under it for 20 mins.
um ..... yweh then i spend a crappy 8 hours feeliong shit, throwing up twice, then coming home, crashing at 6 and waking up at 7 30 thi moring ....

Monday, January 30, 2006

11:39PM

you know wat is alway makes me really happy, shaving my head, such a thrill and excitment watching the hair fall away ....

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Thursday, December 27, 2007

7:35PM

ok quick one, up at netcafe looking for houses.we fucking have to move again arg.

anyhoo

still hating work - need new job -
spent birthday all alone, went to the zoo to see a band called laura (AMAZING) it was a great day.

cut all my hair off. i dont know why i didnt do this ages ago it feels so much better.cant stand long hair.

only a few days left of this year and despite hating my job and the pressures of moving... i actually think im goiong to end it happy. didnt see that coming heh

end.

1 dedicated to my demise| send me your wrath
6 dedicated to my demise| send me your wrath
2 dedicated to my demise| send me your wrath
1 dedicated to my demise| send me your wrath
2 dedicated to my demise| send me your wrath
5 dedicated to my demise| send me your wrath
1 dedicated to my demise| send me your wrath
send me your wrath
3 dedicated to my demise| send me your wrath
2 dedicated to my demise| send me your wrath
send me your wrath
send me your wrath
send me your wrath
3 dedicated to my demise| send me your wrath
2 dedicated to my demise| send me your wrath
1 dedicated to my demise| send me your wrath
2 dedicated to my demise| send me your wrath
3 dedicated to my demise| send me your wrath
3 dedicated to my demise| send me your wrath

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